I used to look for God mostly in the moments when I needed Him. When something was wrong. When I was scared, when I didn’t know what to do. When I needed an answer so badly that I would have taken almost anything that felt like a sign.
There is a certain kind of faith that comes from desperation.
Lately, life has been quieter though and I’ve been wondering what it looks like to have faith when I’m not asking God to pull me out of something.
What does prayer look like when I’m not begging for a change?
What does trusting God look like when there isn’t a crisis demanding my attention?
Truthfully, it looks a lot less dramatic than I thought.
It looks like sitting quietly in the morning, gratitude for things I used to overlook.
It especially looks like choosing not to force an answer just because I don’t have one yet.
I’ve been trying to become more comfortable with stillness, and I’ve realized how difficult that can be. When everything gets quiet, there is nowhere to hide from your own thoughts. No distraction to blame. No emergency to organize your entire life around. No health condition that keeps you condemned.
Just you.
And God.
There are things I’m still praying about. Things I still don’t understand. People I still think about. Parts of my life I don’t know what to do with yet. However, I don’t feel the same need to solve everything today.
Maybe that’s part of faith, too. Trusting that something can be unfinished without being wrong. Trusting that not every season needs to make sense while you’re living it. Trusting that God can be present in a quiet Tuesday just as much as He can be present in the moments that change your entire life.
I’ve spent a lot of time asking God to show me what comes next.
Right now, He’s teaching me how to stay where I am.
To be grateful for the life that’s already here.
To pay attention.
To rest.
To stop mistaking quiet for absence.
God was never only in the storm. He was in the stillness, too.
He’s been here the whole time, for once, I am quiet enough to notice.
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