There is a part of healing and growing that isn’t always talked about. The time where all your rage, sadness, and tired pours out of you. Not because healing means suppressing. Growth isn’t silencing our feelings. It means handling them a different way. However, at least for me, it’s like the parts of me, that reside closer to who I used to be, want to be seen. They demand to be felt at a certain point.
My passion comes out. The passion that has changed to understanding and empathy. My passion turned to peace. Some days it turns into pain. When I sit and reflect on the hard moments that just passed. When all my emotions come out because they finally feel safe. It feels heavy though. Confusing sometimes too when those hard moments are in trying seasons. They can feel like backtracking. Feel like “am I actually healed” and a thousand other things.
The truth of the matter is: this is our humanity. Maturity, growth, therapy, healing, and all those other things don’t erase that. We are emotional, complex, human beings. With a nervous system and a brain that doesn’t stop remembering. It’s hard not to get lost in the TikTok talk of what healed is and Instagram dumps of what it “looks like” to be a human being.
You are your own person, living your own unique experience. Healing and healed looks different for everyone. Your emotions will always demand to be felt no matter how much avoidance we do, how many places we grow in. Don’t be ashamed of them, mad at them or disappointed within yourself. Feel your feelings. Acknowledge them, let them know they are safe to be there.
Recognize that no matter how loud the yell, how brutal the cry, it does not denounce or diminish all that time. The time you spent pouring, loving, mending and healing you. You are valid in your growth in all stages of healing. Applaud yourself. I applaud you. I applaud me.
